The most beautiful place I've been to was a forest in Costa Rica in the Arenal Volcano region. I remember rapelling down waterfalls, jumping into rivers, and feeling the cool breeze send chills down my body. At the end of this adventure, I hiked away from the river into this mysterious forest ground. I could hear heavy rumbling all around. As I got closer to the end of the path, the rumbling grew stronger and stronger. The grounded started to vibrate at each step, and small shots of fear quivered down my body. It must be a big waterfall, I thought. As I took a few more steps, I had a feeling of fear and awe. Whatever it was, it was going to be beautiful.
I turned the corner and I could see the source of this wonder. I remember staring in awe. My brain sent a flush of emotions to my body; I wanted to jump, scream, run, cower, smile all at the same. Instead of doing any of that, I just stared while trying to process what was before me. There was a steep cliff, about 100 feet high and 30 feet wide hidden in the middle of the forest. A heavy flush of white water crashed down onto the rocks while the trees and fungi sparkled in the mists of impact. If you looked up at the right angle, you could see a crisp rainbow with clearly defined colors. With each step forward, my fear and awe for this natural beauty grew. I mustered up some courage and touched part of the falling water as the mists started to engulf me. I wanted to be a part of this nature, not just observe it. The water crashed down on my hands, my arms, and then my shoulder. I rushed back out realizing it was too great for me to touch.
I stepped back again, and at that moment, I appreciated God. I imagined God carefully crafting this waterfall to teach people like me what it meant to "fear God." I thought about the power of God, how he made the earths rumble, the waters fall, the rainbow present, and even the fungi sparkle. I realized that I was looking at the creation of God, and I began to understand God's power. I marveled at Him with fear, with awe, and with reverence, and it was much stronger than the fear that I felt when I first experienced the "most beautiful place" I've ever seen.
"Fear the Lord your God and serve him. Hold fast and take your oaths in his name. He is the one you praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes." - Deuteronomy 10:20-21
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
New Year's Resolutions
It's been a while since I've actually made serious New Year's Resolutions, but here they are, in no particular order.
2011 New Year's Resolutions
1. Sleep ~7 hours a day
2. Learn to love the people who are hard to love and encourage others to do the same
3. Save money on lunch, spend it for and on others
Keep me accountable please :-).
2011 New Year's Resolutions
1. Sleep ~7 hours a day
2. Learn to love the people who are hard to love and encourage others to do the same
3. Save money on lunch, spend it for and on others
Keep me accountable please :-).
Sunday, November 21, 2010
3 Strikes & You're Out
I love it when people challenge me to try something out because I always end up learning something new.
When I was in college, a wise teacher asked me to give teaching Sunday School a try. I wasn't up for it, but I gave it a shot anyway. I shadowed her one day and watched her teach and she was good. The 4-5 year olds were cute and energetic before I entered the classroom, but soon they stopped looking so harmless. They had so much energy that I began to wonder if I could handle them. Then they started asking all these questions about the Bible in full cohesive sentences! These 4-5 year olds were smart! I never grew up in a Christian household, so I didn't have the simple Bible-story knowledge that they had and I felt dumber than the kids! Their teacher seemed like a true professional, and I was afraid that she had chosen the wrong man for the job. I was inexperienced.
After that first day. I literally told her that I didn't want to do it anymore. I felt incapable. The children were too smart for me. Imagine a 21 year old ivy-league student going up to someone's mom and saying, "I can't be your 5 year old kid's sunday school teacher because she's too smart for me." You may laugh at that guy - but that's how much I was lacking in my faith.
What she replied with has now become part of how I choose to live my life. "Young, it's like baseball. You get 3 strikes, and then you're out if you don't hit the ball. Give it 2 more tries and then let's discuss from there."
I have to thank her for that, because teaching these 4-5 year olds taught me so much more about God and how He works. It wasn't an easy job, but it was full of blessings and to this day, I miss them lots. As much as I was a "teacher" to them, they were also teachers to me.
I bring this topic up because at my new church, someone approached me to join choir. Now, I do not have a great voice, but she was so persistant that I didn't know how to say no. Then, I remembered the "3 strikes & you're out" talk. I had to give it a go no matter how incapable I felt.
It's kind of like when Jesus and his disciples were in a storm and they started to freak out because they were scared and incapable of saving themselves. Jesus says to them, "'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." (Matthew 8:26). With God, it's fully possible.
Choir is a great blessing and I'm so happy that someone came out and encouraged me to give it a try. I'm not the best singer in the world, but God can still use me in this way at this time if that's how He wills it to be. It's not always about you singing the best for God, it's about God teaching you.
So next time you get the chance, go up to the home-plate and bring a bat. Have a little faith - you get 3 swings :-). You never know how much power and direction God can give you in a swing.
When I was in college, a wise teacher asked me to give teaching Sunday School a try. I wasn't up for it, but I gave it a shot anyway. I shadowed her one day and watched her teach and she was good. The 4-5 year olds were cute and energetic before I entered the classroom, but soon they stopped looking so harmless. They had so much energy that I began to wonder if I could handle them. Then they started asking all these questions about the Bible in full cohesive sentences! These 4-5 year olds were smart! I never grew up in a Christian household, so I didn't have the simple Bible-story knowledge that they had and I felt dumber than the kids! Their teacher seemed like a true professional, and I was afraid that she had chosen the wrong man for the job. I was inexperienced.
After that first day. I literally told her that I didn't want to do it anymore. I felt incapable. The children were too smart for me. Imagine a 21 year old ivy-league student going up to someone's mom and saying, "I can't be your 5 year old kid's sunday school teacher because she's too smart for me." You may laugh at that guy - but that's how much I was lacking in my faith.
What she replied with has now become part of how I choose to live my life. "Young, it's like baseball. You get 3 strikes, and then you're out if you don't hit the ball. Give it 2 more tries and then let's discuss from there."
I have to thank her for that, because teaching these 4-5 year olds taught me so much more about God and how He works. It wasn't an easy job, but it was full of blessings and to this day, I miss them lots. As much as I was a "teacher" to them, they were also teachers to me.
I bring this topic up because at my new church, someone approached me to join choir. Now, I do not have a great voice, but she was so persistant that I didn't know how to say no. Then, I remembered the "3 strikes & you're out" talk. I had to give it a go no matter how incapable I felt.
It's kind of like when Jesus and his disciples were in a storm and they started to freak out because they were scared and incapable of saving themselves. Jesus says to them, "'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." (Matthew 8:26). With God, it's fully possible.
Choir is a great blessing and I'm so happy that someone came out and encouraged me to give it a try. I'm not the best singer in the world, but God can still use me in this way at this time if that's how He wills it to be. It's not always about you singing the best for God, it's about God teaching you.
So next time you get the chance, go up to the home-plate and bring a bat. Have a little faith - you get 3 swings :-). You never know how much power and direction God can give you in a swing.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Random Story of the Week: My Mentee
"My sister, she's 5. My parents work hard, you know? I have to take care of her after school. I waited until she finished with school and then I take her home. Sometimes it's cold, so I cover her and walk her back. I stop by Chinatown or some place to buy dinner before."
Me: "You don't eat with your parents? They don't cook for you?"
"They're working. I usually cook."
My heart kind of ached then as my mentee started to open up about his life. He's a recent immigrant to the states. He's 19, but acts like he's 30. He's a brother, but acts like a dad to his younger sister. He's in America, but speaks Chinese. He's not what you'd expect a senior in high-school to be.
I struggled to converse with him because of our language barrier, but I could read from his eyes and the way he told his story that this was a grown man in a young body. I asked him what he wanted to do after high school.
"I want to join the army," he said. "I want to be a hero."
He was already a hero to me. Someone who exemplified far more responsibility than most high school students nowadays. He kept his family running.
"I think we can work with that," I said. "But do you know about any other opportunities that you may have? It says that you like science, health, economics. You don't think you'd like to try out college?"
"My English is too bad. I have no other option. I'll make some money, and make sure my sister does well. She's 5 and she speaks English. How do I get to the army?"
My heart ached a little more. I didn't want to limit him to that.
Here was a fully capable guy, who's more responsible than half the men out there in this day and age, and he somehow reached a conclusion that there was no option for him at all except to go to the army.
I tried to tell him that there were more options, that English could be learned, that people learn in college too and that as long as he was ready to work really hard for the next 5 years, that he'd be good too. That even if he goes to the army, college could be an option! You are not what you think you are. You're more! And I truly meant it. This guy was different. He cared.
But he just couldn't understand what I was trying to say. I just wanted to be able to speak Chinese right away and tell him straight-up, "There is so much more that you're capable of. What you've accomplished already says much!" But the barrier stood strong.
This whole week, I can't get past that conversation.
I want to be able to speak with him and share with him the love of Christ and the story of hope.
As I reflect and think back on how I came to Christ, I've realized that it wasn't the ability to communicate verbally with my Christian friends that opened my heart to Christ. It was through their actions, their generosity, their Christ-like affection. Those acts of love and care spoke more than words to me and it made me realize the power of the loving God that it just drew my heart to Christ.
I've only started this mentor-mentee relationship, but my prayer is that by the end of the year, I'll have shown him more love and care than he's ever seen from a "stranger" all his life. And the love that I'm giving isn't from me, it's from Christ.
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners
- Isaiah 61:1
Me: "You don't eat with your parents? They don't cook for you?"
"They're working. I usually cook."
My heart kind of ached then as my mentee started to open up about his life. He's a recent immigrant to the states. He's 19, but acts like he's 30. He's a brother, but acts like a dad to his younger sister. He's in America, but speaks Chinese. He's not what you'd expect a senior in high-school to be.
I struggled to converse with him because of our language barrier, but I could read from his eyes and the way he told his story that this was a grown man in a young body. I asked him what he wanted to do after high school.
"I want to join the army," he said. "I want to be a hero."
He was already a hero to me. Someone who exemplified far more responsibility than most high school students nowadays. He kept his family running.
"I think we can work with that," I said. "But do you know about any other opportunities that you may have? It says that you like science, health, economics. You don't think you'd like to try out college?"
"My English is too bad. I have no other option. I'll make some money, and make sure my sister does well. She's 5 and she speaks English. How do I get to the army?"
My heart ached a little more. I didn't want to limit him to that.
Here was a fully capable guy, who's more responsible than half the men out there in this day and age, and he somehow reached a conclusion that there was no option for him at all except to go to the army.
I tried to tell him that there were more options, that English could be learned, that people learn in college too and that as long as he was ready to work really hard for the next 5 years, that he'd be good too. That even if he goes to the army, college could be an option! You are not what you think you are. You're more! And I truly meant it. This guy was different. He cared.
But he just couldn't understand what I was trying to say. I just wanted to be able to speak Chinese right away and tell him straight-up, "There is so much more that you're capable of. What you've accomplished already says much!" But the barrier stood strong.
This whole week, I can't get past that conversation.
I want to be able to speak with him and share with him the love of Christ and the story of hope.
As I reflect and think back on how I came to Christ, I've realized that it wasn't the ability to communicate verbally with my Christian friends that opened my heart to Christ. It was through their actions, their generosity, their Christ-like affection. Those acts of love and care spoke more than words to me and it made me realize the power of the loving God that it just drew my heart to Christ.
I've only started this mentor-mentee relationship, but my prayer is that by the end of the year, I'll have shown him more love and care than he's ever seen from a "stranger" all his life. And the love that I'm giving isn't from me, it's from Christ.
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners
- Isaiah 61:1
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Time Flies
I've had a pretty busy past month finishing up a project for a client, but in the past week, I've been blessed with incredible amounts of time. In consulting, we describe this time period as being, "on the beach." We kind of just...show up to work with not much to do and wait until you get staffed on a new project and usually a new client.
Of course I'm sitting around wondering what to do. And for about 40 hours during the week, I read several articles and even resorted to making models for fun to pass time. But when I finished doing all of those, I was just incredibly bored. Then someone reminded me that all this extra time could be a gift from God to use it for Him.
After all, didn't God give us time on earth?
I kind of felt like the man in the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-28) who received a talent from his Master only to dig it in the ground and do nothing with it. The Master comes back and praises the other two servants who doubled the talents that the Master gave them, but he denounces the one who did nothing. "You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest."
God gave me time, and I didn't use it :-(. It just went away and I'm not getting it back. I got restaffed today.
But there's a lesson to be learned here. It's okay, because now I know. I will never get that time back, but now that I've learned, shouldn't I challenge myself to be more like the other two servants who actually went out and worked harder when they were graced and entrusted with talents and time from God?
It's a calling for us to go out and do more. Read the Bible more, reflect more, or even better, go out and love more. Do something. Use that extra time and work for God's kingdom, because now that I see it, God would be most happy if I recognized His gift to me and if I used it.
Of course I'm sitting around wondering what to do. And for about 40 hours during the week, I read several articles and even resorted to making models for fun to pass time. But when I finished doing all of those, I was just incredibly bored. Then someone reminded me that all this extra time could be a gift from God to use it for Him.
After all, didn't God give us time on earth?
I kind of felt like the man in the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-28) who received a talent from his Master only to dig it in the ground and do nothing with it. The Master comes back and praises the other two servants who doubled the talents that the Master gave them, but he denounces the one who did nothing. "You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest."
God gave me time, and I didn't use it :-(. It just went away and I'm not getting it back. I got restaffed today.
But there's a lesson to be learned here. It's okay, because now I know. I will never get that time back, but now that I've learned, shouldn't I challenge myself to be more like the other two servants who actually went out and worked harder when they were graced and entrusted with talents and time from God?
It's a calling for us to go out and do more. Read the Bible more, reflect more, or even better, go out and love more. Do something. Use that extra time and work for God's kingdom, because now that I see it, God would be most happy if I recognized His gift to me and if I used it.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
How my dog taught me about love
Today, my dog of 14 years passed away. Her name was Sarah. I named her Sarah because I thought it was an awesome girl name in elementary school and I didn't know what else to name my dog. Our first night together, I slept next to her on the floor at my grandma's house, and she licked me in the face so that I could let her out to pee. I didn't even train her, so I was sure that I had a smart dog. But then, she went on to eat a caterpillar. What a weird dog :-).
We kind of grew up together. I spent a lot of my youth with her, especially during our first years. She was playful and we were playful and those were good times. But as I grew, I paid less and less attention to her. I had school, projects, girlfriends, friends, tv, sports to occupy my time while Sarah was all alone outside by herself. In a way, I feel guilty because I think my poor dog didn't really have a real friend. But I felt like she always understood. She always greeted me with excitement. In high school, she'd jump on me and try to lick my face everytime I greeted her. When I left for college, I'd see her in 6 month cycles, and even though I wasn't there for her for those years, it was as if she waited for me, loyally by my side, because she'd greet me with a jump, a weaker jump this time because of her age, but with so much excitement that she'd sometimes choke on her own spit. And finally, when I visited her again after I graduated from college, she greeted me with a wagging tail and a hop. She was weighed down by arthritis, partially deaf, and out of shape, but she still tried to jump and greet me the same exact way she had greeted me for the past 14 years. And that's when I realized that my dog loved me. That she saw past all my failures, my lack of care for her, my selfishness with my time, and she saw me as her master and friend. What I did against her didn't matter because she forgave me. Her final "jump" on me, helped me realize that it wasn't the "jump" that defined our greetings, it was her heart and what she meant to convey through her doggy mind, and that was - "I love you."
Sarah forgave me for everything that I did, and she stayed obedient to me throughout her life. I wasn't a good master nor even a good friend to her, but it didn't matter because all was forgiven.
I was thinking...If I put myself in Sarah's paws, I wouldn't have forgiven myself. I would have wondered why I was stuck with such a horrible master who never played with me, who was rarely home, and who was selfish with his time. But God calls us to forgive everyone, because He forgave us when we were so undeserving. Sarah didn't have to forgive me, she didn't have to love me, but in obedience to her master (me) she forgave and she loved.
I'm sitting here wondering how Sarah, a dog, could forgive such an undeserving master. It makes me want to go out and forgive everyone who've wronged me in the past who I have not truly forgiven. As I think about that some more, I start to ponder about God. Except this time, the tables have been turned. God is my master, and even still, He's forgiving me for every sin I've committed. I can almost see Him welcoming me with big open arms, kind of similar to Sarah's "jump,"- a strong heartfelt act that truly says, "I love you."
I think forgiveness is a part of love. In fact, I imagine love overcomes sin and that it's a sure path to forgiving others. I know that Sarah's life didn't go wasted, because if anything, in the end, God used her life to teach me about how love forgives.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
- 1 Peter 4:38
R.I.P. Sarah Yim - October 23, 1996 - September 9, 2010.
We kind of grew up together. I spent a lot of my youth with her, especially during our first years. She was playful and we were playful and those were good times. But as I grew, I paid less and less attention to her. I had school, projects, girlfriends, friends, tv, sports to occupy my time while Sarah was all alone outside by herself. In a way, I feel guilty because I think my poor dog didn't really have a real friend. But I felt like she always understood. She always greeted me with excitement. In high school, she'd jump on me and try to lick my face everytime I greeted her. When I left for college, I'd see her in 6 month cycles, and even though I wasn't there for her for those years, it was as if she waited for me, loyally by my side, because she'd greet me with a jump, a weaker jump this time because of her age, but with so much excitement that she'd sometimes choke on her own spit. And finally, when I visited her again after I graduated from college, she greeted me with a wagging tail and a hop. She was weighed down by arthritis, partially deaf, and out of shape, but she still tried to jump and greet me the same exact way she had greeted me for the past 14 years. And that's when I realized that my dog loved me. That she saw past all my failures, my lack of care for her, my selfishness with my time, and she saw me as her master and friend. What I did against her didn't matter because she forgave me. Her final "jump" on me, helped me realize that it wasn't the "jump" that defined our greetings, it was her heart and what she meant to convey through her doggy mind, and that was - "I love you."
Sarah forgave me for everything that I did, and she stayed obedient to me throughout her life. I wasn't a good master nor even a good friend to her, but it didn't matter because all was forgiven.
I was thinking...If I put myself in Sarah's paws, I wouldn't have forgiven myself. I would have wondered why I was stuck with such a horrible master who never played with me, who was rarely home, and who was selfish with his time. But God calls us to forgive everyone, because He forgave us when we were so undeserving. Sarah didn't have to forgive me, she didn't have to love me, but in obedience to her master (me) she forgave and she loved.
I'm sitting here wondering how Sarah, a dog, could forgive such an undeserving master. It makes me want to go out and forgive everyone who've wronged me in the past who I have not truly forgiven. As I think about that some more, I start to ponder about God. Except this time, the tables have been turned. God is my master, and even still, He's forgiving me for every sin I've committed. I can almost see Him welcoming me with big open arms, kind of similar to Sarah's "jump,"- a strong heartfelt act that truly says, "I love you."
I think forgiveness is a part of love. In fact, I imagine love overcomes sin and that it's a sure path to forgiving others. I know that Sarah's life didn't go wasted, because if anything, in the end, God used her life to teach me about how love forgives.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
- 1 Peter 4:38
R.I.P. Sarah Yim - October 23, 1996 - September 9, 2010.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Blessed to do Good
I've been blessed beyond measure to be living and working in New York City.
The environment here is so different. A lot of people value their work, their efficiency, their productivity and even strangely enough - how many hours they work. They talk about how many points they have for hotels or miles for flights, what projects they're on, what stocks to trade... and the list goes on. Everything feels like it revolves around money and status.
On one of my projects, our team went around the room introducing ourselves to our client, and it went like this, "A&B from Harvard, B from Yale, C from Cornell, D from UPenn." That's when I first thought to myself, "Wow, I'm somewhere where a lot of people can't be."
I started thinking a little about what that means for me? I try to never take things for granted. I'm not special or anything, but I must be here for a reason. And I played around with the idea.
And then last night, I hung out w/my friends from Vegas who went to Yale. It ended up going from dinner to rooftop to lounge to chicken to karaoke... but throughout the night our group got bigger and bigger and the schools that were represented were Stanford, Yale, MIT, Duke, Berkeley, UNC, and UPenn - and these were all people in great jobs in big firms.
And so thoughts started to come up again. Do any one of them realize how amazingly blessed they are? Do any one of them have a vision to use what they have been given and do great things? What is their definition of great? Of success?
I was the only Christian, and maybe it's because God calls us to use what He has given us to further His Kingdom. But I had all these thoughts last night and even now, I wonder, what am I supposed to do with what God has given me?
In Luke 12:48, it says "To whom much is given, much is expected."
There's no conclusion in this post. But I think that my prayer and my prayer request for both you and I will be to do great things for God, using what He's given us. Although I've mentioned school and "success" in a very Asian perspective here, I think that we're ALL blessed in different ways so why not use what we're blessed with for God?
I don't know what God's plan is for me, but if He's saying anything to me right now, He's telling me to recognize everything He's given me and to use it. Don't let your "success" go to waste - turn it into something better. Because in my opinion, we're not just blessed, we're blessed to do good, to bless others.
The environment here is so different. A lot of people value their work, their efficiency, their productivity and even strangely enough - how many hours they work. They talk about how many points they have for hotels or miles for flights, what projects they're on, what stocks to trade... and the list goes on. Everything feels like it revolves around money and status.
On one of my projects, our team went around the room introducing ourselves to our client, and it went like this, "A&B from Harvard, B from Yale, C from Cornell, D from UPenn." That's when I first thought to myself, "Wow, I'm somewhere where a lot of people can't be."
I started thinking a little about what that means for me? I try to never take things for granted. I'm not special or anything, but I must be here for a reason. And I played around with the idea.
And then last night, I hung out w/my friends from Vegas who went to Yale. It ended up going from dinner to rooftop to lounge to chicken to karaoke... but throughout the night our group got bigger and bigger and the schools that were represented were Stanford, Yale, MIT, Duke, Berkeley, UNC, and UPenn - and these were all people in great jobs in big firms.
And so thoughts started to come up again. Do any one of them realize how amazingly blessed they are? Do any one of them have a vision to use what they have been given and do great things? What is their definition of great? Of success?
I was the only Christian, and maybe it's because God calls us to use what He has given us to further His Kingdom. But I had all these thoughts last night and even now, I wonder, what am I supposed to do with what God has given me?
In Luke 12:48, it says "To whom much is given, much is expected."
There's no conclusion in this post. But I think that my prayer and my prayer request for both you and I will be to do great things for God, using what He's given us. Although I've mentioned school and "success" in a very Asian perspective here, I think that we're ALL blessed in different ways so why not use what we're blessed with for God?
I don't know what God's plan is for me, but if He's saying anything to me right now, He's telling me to recognize everything He's given me and to use it. Don't let your "success" go to waste - turn it into something better. Because in my opinion, we're not just blessed, we're blessed to do good, to bless others.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)